Wednesday, June 15, 2011
a very long blog post awaits you readers
so if you have anything else better to do, now would be the time
viewers dicretion is highly advised
you have been warned...

the hectic life of a bandman begins
straight back from brunei was media brief reh on monday
then SAF day COD at safti on tues
wed was the actual media brief
and thurs was back in safti for SAF day COD again
gd thing friday was off for the 2 COD days
but....
saturday back in camp for another NDP fife and drums...
sunday rest again, save for meeting with ian and jeremy after curia on the legion exchange meet
monday had to come back to unpack instruments for half a day
and tues back to SAF day...full component training with the rest of the band
damn my arms are spent XP
wed today was morn full band and afternoon off
and now here i lay on my bed tapping away on my laptop cos of certain thoughts i had on my bus ride home

it really seemed like i left my life back in brunei
before the trip we were all preoccupied with rehearsals
i had time to practice my piano
and driving was still okay, i was actually getting bored with the test routes until he finally started teaching me parking
and i still had a legion meeting to go to

after the brunei trip, i seriously lacked whatever steam and drive i had before flying
my driving sucked according to my over-panicky instructor...in the past few lessons he was everything but calm and anxiously booked circuit lessons for me, since i hardly started it yet and oh wow, my driving test is NEXT THURSDAY PEOPLE, gd luck to me
im pretty sure i dont wanna fail the test
and have to keep going back for more driving lessons
and the more impt point is wasting time having the lessons...zzz
its just something i wanna clear asap right now
part of me dont even feel like retaking if i fail the test...like to hell with it
im not that fussy with public transport, as trashy as the waiting times are

and now because SAF day and NDP are full steam, my mondays wednesdays and friday are 6.15am-7/8pm booked with mindless rehearsals....zzz
talk about wasting your life away stoning and doing.......NOTHING
talk about de javu.......in the same state as last year, only last year i had someone to msg
now im basically spending as much time resting my arms....
bass drummers should get more credit, just saying XP
and SAF day also basically spells out less me-time and more time in camp staying in
which is actually what everyone else in combat vocations are in
dont get me wrong, staying in is perfectly fine
it's just that band and the bunk are like, worlds apart and thus immensely troublesome
and literally, after a day of hell, im in no condition to do anything else but sleep
entirely unproductive, unless you count my reading, and maybe i should restart my drumming practices....
nevertheless it's taking a toll out of me physically mentally and my-own-damn-life-ly

next is my piano life
ok, so it's not right to say i have no time to practice
but it's just an army thing i guess
we'd rather spend time stoning and wandering
it's simply pure bliss for us
most of the time nowadays, we utterly overflowing with our "job"
duties, trainings, deployments...
it's seriously a mind-scrambling thing to be in the army
it changes you in so many BAD way more than GOOD ways
i sincerely hope i keep the gd ones after i leave the army
anws, talking about time to practice
i have successfully forced myself a decent bit of practice
but it's still apallingly insufficent
i can't imagine how much more i'll procrastinate if i had an smartphone
i have to remain FOCUSED
with my exam due in sept, my appegios are still a joke
and my pieces require work, serious work
let's not talk about the dire sight reading

legion...
im not really happy about my meetings cut off
i can really feel myself losing spirituallity
my rosaries have become a scarcity
my bible readings have stopped entirely
and forget about the hymns
my church meetings have also discontinued indefinitely
i want to start it up again, but everyone is also occupied with their things....
great, no meeting, no self-enrichment, and almost zero resistance to temptation...
lord help me
time to source out for other meetings
wule, wudian, jidu, rongfu or quan yi?

and lastly my own selfish self
nowadays i feel so lonely
not that i have no company
in army i still have buddies
i still have my family, sorta
i just feel like i need someone to talk about certain things
like, moody and frustrated things in my life
basically someone to ramble at
SIGH
i miss the legion
i miss my daji and CO ppl
i miss my jc class
i miss CRYSI-Z
i just miss everyone that i dont see nowadays
i just feel so lonely somehow
i just feel like im an emo kid now
unhappy about things and keeping it all inside
kinda like how i felt back in jc1
it's tiring to keep a smile on my face
it's tiring to keep up with my life
it's tiring to even attempt to do anything i planned to do
effort seems distanced from me now
it just appears that ive hit a serios of tall and seemingly-impenetrable speed bumbs
and my engine is close to coming to a dead halt
and im only a push away from breaking point of complete madness
only time will tell how long i can last...

i just feel like screaming at someone...anyone...
feels so lonely tonight
everyone thinks i just smile and luagh out loud at everything all the time
but even heroes have the right to bleed...right?

current mood: emo
current song: Used To -Daughtry
--Iyner, misfit-me at 10:58 PM
Friday, June 10, 2011
haiz
have you ever come across a situation like this?
two friends of yours just happen to get together
and suddenly its awkward being around them or talking to them
because you dont wanna disturb them and you feel like a lightbulb
feels like you've lost them both...
*shiver*
like you dunno if you're happy for them or sad that they are distanced from you
SIGH+HAIZ


current mood: awkward
current song: randon BITs music and Loser Of The Year - Simple Plan
--Iyner, misfit-me at 8:02 PM
Sunday, June 5, 2011
back from brunei...
and im missing everyone and everything...
even brunei....

looking at all the photos really put a smile on my face


back in black!



current mood: goodbye...
current song: Another Goodbye Song - Van Louelle Pojas
--Iyner, misfit-me at 7:48 PM